Let's be real. Sometimes our dogs frustrate us. You call them, they don't come. You ask them to sit, they just stare at you. You cue, leave it and they grab it anyway. And after a few failed attempts, your voice gets sharp, your tone changes, maybe you sigh, maybe you huff, maybe you growl out your name a little louder, and then your dog really doesn't listen. So what gives? Are they being stubborn, defiant, spiteful? Nope, most of the time they're just responding to our frustration and not in the way that we want.

Dogs are incredibly sensitive to tone, body language and overall vibe. When we get frustrated or annoyed, even if we're saying the same words, we're delivering a completely different message and your dog feels that. So if you say come in a cheerful, inviting way, your dog thinks cool, something good's about to happen. But if you say come on with tension in your shoulders and a tight voice, your dog thinks, wow, something's off. I'm not sure about this. And here's the thing Dogs are not great at interpreting frustration. They don't think, oh, wow, she's getting irritated, I better shape up. They think something's wrong, better keep my distance. And that's especially true for sensitive or anxious dogs. It's not disobedience, it's confusion, it's avoidance. It's your dog trying to read you and backing off because they're unsure what you actually want.

Let me give you a simple example. So you're teaching the recall and your dog does not come right away. So you call them again a little sharper and when they finally get to you you're frustrated. So you scold them or you clip the leash and end the walk. And from your perspective, totally fair. You needed them to listen the first time. But from your dog's perspective, they tried coming to you and it ended badly. So next time they'll probably hesitate even more.

And the cycle continues. Here's how to break the pattern. Cycle continues. Here's how to break the pattern. First, check your tone. If you feel annoyed, pause, take a breath, soften your voice. You don't have to be fake happy, but your dog will respond way better to calm and clear than snappy and sharp. Second, reward what you want, even if it took a while. If your dog eventually comes to you, reward it Praise, treat, play. You can train for faster responses later, but right now, reward the choice to come back. Third, walk away if you need to.

If you're feeling too frustrated to train, it's okay to take a break. Nothing good comes from training when you're boiling over. Dogs don't need perfection, but they do need clarity and consistency, and four set up for success. Frustration usually shows up when we expect too much too soon. If your dog isn't responding, the task might be too hard. Add distance, lower the distraction or increase the reward. And just to be clear, you're not a bad trainer for getting frustrated. It happens to all of us. The key is to notice it and adjust, because when you show up calm, clear and supportive, your dog listens better every time.